When Jonathan got divorced in 2013, his wife presented the idea. She presented the paperwork, and she admittedly wronged him through affairs and deceit. He had every reason to be upset and distraught, and he ran with it. He spent roughly 24 months in emotional turmoil. He rarely went outside. He blamed his wife over and over again for why he could not spend back to back weekends with the kids. He never accepted that he was no longer wanted by his ex-wife. She wronged him, yet in a sad twist of fate, she was the one who remarried shortly after and entered into an apparently wonderful relationship.
Everyone knows a version of Jonathan somewhere in their history. He got so caught up in the events that were happening to him that he never sat back and reflected on what he did to cause those events. The truth is that he wronged her. It may not have been as bad. It may even be marginal. But, he never took responsibility for how he hurt her. In other words, he never became accountable for the position he was in and how he affected the relationship.
The discussion here has little to do with marriage and divorce. It is about accepting the circumstances surrounding a certain plight, and reflecting on who is responsible. No matter how it played out, everyone has to take accountability for their situation. Life is controllable. Other people do not control one's destiny. Jonathan was allowing his ex-wife to control his destiny by giving her more power over him than she deserved. Worse yet, Jonathan embraced it. He did not need to think, be accountable, or challenge his sadness- because it was all her fault! This is unnecessarily deceitful to Jonathan's happiness, and it has eroded what he expected from life.
The PSI Seminars podcasts study and explore ideas of accountable, as well as many others. Jonathan could have easily began to connect with PSI Seminars to learn a bit about his own situation. Fortunately, he waited too long. Anyone facing a similar circumstance can see that giving power over to another only derails their own destiny.