Queen Elizabeth's opening of Parliament makes us long for the good ol' days.

Story time with the queen.


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Monarchs come with carbon-neutral transportation. The EPA will love it.


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It provides jobs for kids. Newt Gingrich's dream!


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The queen tells the best jokes.


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All the LOLs when Marines are forced to wear these uniforms.


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Just picture Antonin Scalia having to dress like this.


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Gold reserves would skyrocket, thrilling libertarians.


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In a pinch, security guards could be used as mops.


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