What's in the latest bipartisan proposal.

Pathway to citizenship. It will take over a decade for illegal residents to become citizens, which makes sense. They've had it easy for too long.

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Border security. Everyone's focused on securing the Mexican border. Why are Canadians being left oot?

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Gay rights. Foreign partners of gay Americans may or may not get equal access to green cards. This is a controversial question because The Bible.

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Young children. Kids who were brought to the U.S. illegally will have an easier path to citizenship than adults, because they are the only ones who know how to work the iPhones.

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Math and science. Immigrants who study these fields can get green cards more quickly, because America has no idea what photosynthesis is.

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Jobs. All immigrants must carry roughly 800 pages of identification at work.

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Conservative opposition. Some conservatives refuse to support amnesty for illegal immigrants, on the grounds that "rules are rules" and "who wants to win elections, anyway."

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