All too often, relationships and love are complicated, or even confused, by sex.

Remember that 'Blurred Lines' song? Looks like it wasn't just Robin Thicke that's seemingly confused about sex's importance in a relationship.

Whilst one person may purport to love another in the hope of sex (rather than a relationship) with them, so another person may just want to love another person without sex.

Why you can have a loving fulfilled relationship without sex

Too often in modern society sex has too much of a pivotal role in relationships that there's an assumption it's impossible to have love without sex.

Whilst it's true that sex can add to a loving relationship, it's only one aspect - and certainly not critical.

There are several reasons why sex may diminish or even disappear from otherwise healthy and successful relationships :-

Health issues

There are several sexual health issues in men (and women) that can lead to a loss of sex - erectile dysfunction, fitness, blood pressure - in a relationship.

Loss of libido

Sometimes as couples age, or once they've had children, they view sex as less necessary - i.e. an act of procreation rather than love or emotional fulfillment - so they grow away from it, even abandoning it altogether.


Sexual well being, including 'sex drive', is sometimes linked to stress and emotions. The more stressed we become - in life, work, relationships etc. - or our emotional states are unsettled, the more our sexual desires may be negatively affected.

In loving relationships, it's possible that we seek support, comfort and fulfilment in other aspects rather, or at the expense, the sexual act.

Why relationships and love flourish without sex

As humans, we've developed from our ancestors when sex was purely a means of procreation, and developed other aspects of loving relationships other than the physical sex act.

As we've seen, losing sex from a relationship is certainly not a deal breaker, in fact it seems that relationships often compensate for the loss of one aspect by increasing other aspects - more time, more communication, more empathy, more listening, more support for each other.

As humans, we've attached to much importance to the role of sex in relationships, in that it appears to be inextricably linked to a binary equation for success. If a relationship has good sex, we seem to assume the relationship is fine, or worse still, the opposite - bad sex, or no sex, is a sign of failure.

Worst still, we've come to assume that love cannot flourish without sex when in fact the opposite is true. Once we know we do not need sex to love someone, it shows an appreciation and approval that we truly love that person for what they are.

Conclusion : you do not need sex for love

Whilst sex can add to a relationship, and reasons to love to someone, it's only one part of the equation - and certainly not essential.

In fact, lack or loss of sex often can lead to an increase win love.