First things first - can you have success dating if you can't meet the girl? Therefore, it's absolutely essential that you overcome your approach anxiety.

People who study interpersonal relationships are studying this, trying to see if there's a way to overcome approach anxiety. Some people think that approach anxiety is hardwired into our genetic makeup. Approach anxiety can be overcome, insist others.

These are a couple of approaches that men have found useful in overcoming approach anxiety:

The 3-second Rule

This is a pretty straightforward idea. Here's how it works: the more time you spend contemplating approaching a particular woman, the more anxious you'll become about it - and the less likely it is you'll ever say hello to her. The anxiety needs time to build up enough to stop you - so don't give it that time! As soon as you see a woman you want to get to know better, approach her immediately - within three seconds! To achieve success with the 3-second rule, you have to commit to using it all the time. Don't waste time or opportunities thinking up exceptions or excuses, though, or you won't have any time left for meeting wonderful women! Of course, reality rules: if circumstances absolutely forbid meeting her, such as when you're late for work or she's in the process of getting married, then you can let it go, but if you're in a social situation like a club, go for it!

How the Power of Money Overcomes Approach Anxiety

This approach requires a wingman, but can be really successful in motivating you to get out there and meet exciting women. Sometimes, just having a buddy there watching is sufficient motivation - I mean, who wants to shame himself in front of his friends by being afraid to get out there and meet the women you really want to meet?

But if you need greater motivation, try this: give your wingman $100 in cash Here's how it works: every time you approach a woman and talk with her, he gives you back $10 or $20, based on some citeria you two agree on beforehand. The more women you meet, the more of your money you get back.

Let's be frank, though. These are just two ways of dealing with the problem. They don't really solve the problem. Really overcoming approach anxiety and putting it behind you for once and for all requires dealing with its root cause.

Some people think that approach anxiety is genetic, that it's hardwired into some our DNA. I disagree with that; I think approach anxiety is learned.

When you consider it from an truly analytical perspective, it's reasonable to conclude that the problem underlying approach anxiety is shame.

Simply put, when you're experiencing approach anxiety, what you're really feeling at some level is shame. Perhaps you have unresolved issues about yourself, your appearance, your job, or something else, that embarrasses you and manifests itself as approach anxiety. Perhaps you think, subconsciously, that you don't really deserve to have an exciting woman like her in your life, and you feel ashamed of yourself for thinking of approaching her. At this point, it's all guesswork. Your situation is unlike anyone else's, and I don't want to paint people with a broad brush.

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